I’m aware that apparently, this kind of post about goal setting and resolutions is currently the Blogsphere’s Most Hated, but here we are and I have some things to chat about with you.
A little review
Recently, a few things have been on my mind. The first was a 2018 astro-overview I saw which declared that 2016 was the year of “losing my way”, 2017 was the year of “finding myself” and 2018 was the year things were gonna go balls to the wall, all out killing it. I like to think all three are very true.
2016 was a tough year for me. I don’t even remember a great deal of it, other than feeling stuck, ugly and confused. It was honestly the first year of my life that I remember having some real issues with how I looked – partly because in the summer I turned into the human embodiment of a lizard with a bad bout of psoriasis, and partly because I joined a gym and was having a time and a half navigating the fine line between liking yourself and changing yourself (and if both were even possible). I can’t recall any major achievements.
The start of 2017 was equally messy for me. I vowed to leave my job, figuring another would make me happy (newsflash, it wouldn’t, and job hunting is exactly as self-esteem bashing as I remembered it been). It’s been a funny old year. While nothing particularly awful has happened on a personal level, it has definitely been the year I learned to navigate my body and my mind. I’ve dealt with some real tragic shit that I’ve held onto for a while. There’s been some nasty inner work happening.
You may, or may not have noticed a particular absence here on the blog this year. I’ve flitted between wanting to write about all the things I felt I should write about (cruelty-free beauty, veganism, lipstick) and what I actually want to write about, which is coaching, self-improvement, self-love, and getting a hold of yourself when it feels like everything is a bit of a mess. I want to write about how you can actually like yourself and still want to be bigger, better and brighter. I want to write about learning to exercise without hating it, or yourself. I want my blog to be a place you can come and leave feeling a little better.
So without further ado; here is what I want from 2018.
A vision for 2018
- I want to get back in shape. Not thin, or losing half my body weight. You won’t catch me on the ol’ skinny teas or anything. But I miss feeling strong and fit in the gym. I kind of miss being able to shift heavy stuff at work much to the dismay of the men around me (totally my ego speaking). I want to feel strong again after an extended break from the gym.
- I want to feel nourished. This goes for how I eat (which has been definitely Not Great in 2017), as well as regarding the company I keep, the work I do, the things I write and the home I make for myself.
- We want a new house. Liam and I are quite seriously toying with the idea of van life over a mortgage right now (we’ve done tiny spaces before and a van is probably still considerably nicer), but in the meantime, we want a new rental. We have standards this time – it’s not our first rodeo anymore. We want no mould, no damp, no roof issues, actual insulation, a kitchen that works, somewhere to park our cars (because we have them now too), and personally I want a bath that I can swim about in (but one that doesn’t leak when you use it will suffice).
- I want to actually pass my driving test. Oh boy, I failed the first time which was a huge 2017 goal for me, so we’re hitting it again in Feb. There’s a new post about this coming up soon!
- I want to be more green. The more self-development work I do, the more this weighs on me. I’ve found a new take on veganism that fits more comfortably of late (which I’ll share soon) and I really want to become more sustainable and eco-friendly too. I’ll be sharing little things I’m doing throughout this year!
And finally, most importantly:
- I want to take damned good care of myself. I want to keep up my morning practices and eat better and make time to look after myself not just exist. I don’t want another year of perma-stress, of crying over tiny nuances or big, messy breakdowns when things go wrong. I want to stop working until I’m sick. I’d like to reduce my hours and make something of this block of space online that I occupy.
How do you even go about goal setting?
While I’m not super into the notion of new years resolutions, I do believe the new year is a great time of year to reset, review, and start afresh. I don’t think this has to mean being a totally different person – in fact, it absolutely shouldn’t if you actually want to achieve your goals.
This year I’m trying something a little different. My goals are all things that are very internal to me. None of them are really things I’m doing to be well regarded by others – I don’t much care for being high up at work or being the leanest, fittest person in the gym. I don’t care if people think I’m fat when I’m deadlifting their body weight. Instead, I want to go after things that are going to better my life.
Aligned goal setting
I have a million posts about goal setting planned for throughout the year – complete with workbooks and check sheets and all of that fun stuff, but it’s worth a mention here. Are you really aligned with your goals? Or are you going for something that means completely being a whole new person? What needs to change to get there? I speak from experience when I say setting a goal to gain 2000 Instagram followers in a year when you post every three weeks is kind of unrealistic.
The whole point of aligned goals is that you can do them simply by tweaking your path. The best way to get there isn’t to do a complete 180 on your habits, though maybe it may take some new ones (or ditching some old ones) to get there.
Not only that, but an aligned goal needs to be internal. An aligned goal isn’t “I’ll be happy when I have x” or “x will make me more ____”.
Let’s break it down:
- Step One: determine what you actually want. Sometimes this is the hardest part. Especially I feel we’re talking about whole years worth of achievements – but that’s okay. Spend some time on this step.
- Step Two: ask why. And then ask why a few more times. Find as many reasons as you can to want to achieve your goal. Say you have a specific blog goal or fitness goal – what’s the end goal here? Why are you doing this? What is it actually going to take? Are you willing to do what’s necessary? Is it actually possible to do what’s necessary?
It’s not necessary to have a complete step by step action plan, but you’ll usually have a rough understanding of the time commitment or financial input that you’ll need for your goal – and it has to be reasonable.
Remember that hustling is all well and good, but if you sacrifice too much of your life to achieve one thing, a win can be bittersweet. Can you enjoy the process?
Repeat as necessary. This is a good process for goal setting into the new year but it works just as well for smaller goals too.
If you have any specific questions about goal setting and how I do it, I’d love to answer them in another blog post! I have lots of posts on this planned as the year goes on so do get in touch!
I hope 2018 is a wonderful year for you too!
Deck pictured: The Universe Has Your Back by Gabrielle Bernstein
Book pictured: The Little Book Of Astrology by Marianne Williamson
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